Posts by Faithful Witness

28

Argument with my Child "Why did I stay in the Organization so long?" Anger and Bitter Feelings.

by RottenRiley in

jw
friends

last night my third oldest child wanted to know why we stayed in the organization so long.

child is a third year college student enjoying all the classes this "wicked system" has to offer, the insatiable appetite for learning makes him want to argue and debate, i don't have the energy to debate because i don't feel good with all life has thrown our way.. .

"the only reason i went to meetings so long was because grandma and grandpa needed somebody to take them to meetings and cobe aunt and uncle and secretary aunt and uncle refused to talk to grandma for years, otherwise i would have stopped attending the kingdom hall because the kids were assholes and i was always the one who had to make "first contact", "i was the one who had to go around and meet and greet newbies while the regular jw wall-flowers (calebs) ignored all the visitors and new persons visiting our kingdom hall.

Faithful Witness

BOTR: You can never get those years back. I deserved better.

Thank you for expressing these sentiments! It couldn't be more true. It is a powerful reality that anyone who knows a child JW should seriously consider. They are being forced into it.

18

The Memorial campaign: What question from a householder would have made you think?

by Faithful Witness in

i know that soon, the jws in our area will be out in full force, on their hit and run campaign with invitations to the memorial.

.

did you ever encounter a householder during this campaign, that made you stop and think about what you were doing?

Faithful Witness

I know that soon, the JWs in our area will be out in full force, on their hit and run campaign with invitations to the memorial.

Did you ever encounter a householder during this campaign, that made you stop and think about what you were doing?

15

My JW mom is coming to visit this Friday!!

by Faithful Witness in

my parents are recent converts to jw (both baptized).

i was never a jw, but did study with them for a long time.

after doing research, my husband and i quit going to meetings and stopped the bs.

Faithful Witness

My parents are recent converts to JW (both baptized). I was never a JW, but did study with them for a long time. After doing research, my husband and I quit going to meetings and stopped the BS.

My dad is completely indoctrinated at this point, but my mom sees how ridiculous he is being. I have always been very close with my mom, but not so much with my dad. He does not answer my calls or emails. He is avoiding me, and acts like a wooden statue when we do see each other. I know he is confused. I've just been giving him his space.

I have made contact with my mom. I called her about 2 weeks after my sister decided to "stop communicating" with me. My mom didn't seem to know about sis's decision, and it clearly made her upset. She expressed frustration and anger at the way my sister was acting. She had also had another conversation with her, where sis told her they would not be interested in coming to our family party, even if it was at JW mom's house. "You can check w/J, but I don't think we would come." My mom and I discussed this for a few minutes before she said, "I told Dad, 'You know... when you see things like this, it really makes you look at the Jehovah's Witnesses, and want nothing to do with it!'" I did not respond to her making that statement (my sentiments exactly).

I am actually thinking that my sister's unreasonable behavior is going to stir the pot, upsetting Mom and really aggravating the peacemaker in her. This concern was one that Mom had raised years ago, while she was still studying. "Jehovah's Witnesses divide families." Well, now it has happened.

Mom has also previously made the comment, "Well, maybe I shouldn't have gone ahead and been baptized..."

Upon the advice of a friend, I emailed Mom and asked if I could be put on her calendar. The idea is that we will arrange and meet (weather-permitting) every 2nd Friday of the month. Last I heard, she is planning to come and visit this Friday. It will be nice if she does come, since the kids are really looking forward to it.

In her email, Mom said, "I miss talking to you, too!" I do not plan to bring up anything JW, but have a feeling that she probably will.

She is coming on Friday, but did make sure to mention that she has to go home Friday night. (She used to come for 2 night stays a few times a year). She said, "I need to go out in service. I've really been slacking!" I'm not sure the intention of that statement, which she has made a few times in the past. On the one hand, I'm sad to be reminded that the WTS is a higher priority than her grandkids she has not seen in months. On the other hand, I'm happy to hear that she's been "slacking!" Good girl, Mom!

She went on to mention that she was visiting her (non-JW) sister last Saturday, so there goes another field service day out the window. Yay! Maybe I'm supposed to "understand" and therefore accept that the preaching work is more important than your own family. Her sister has no understanding of that, and they do get together one Saturday every month. One less Saturday of riding around, getting indoctrinated and judged... go see Aunt C instead!

I have no agenda for her visit this week, except to have a good time and visit with my real mom. This whole JW experience has really put a spotlight on some personality issues that she has, but I've got plenty of real life things we can talk about. If she wants to bring up her concerns about anything from the JW's, I'm willing to listen. :)

I take that back... There is one question I would like to ask her. She recently had a serious illness that prevented her from walking or leaving the house. She was hospitalized for 4 nights. I did not hear glowing reports of how many JW's were visiting or helping her out during her illness, so I am curious to know how much support and love she experienced in her time of need. I plan to ask, just casually...

When we were Bible students, we had a few times of "need," and we found the JWs here to be oh so helpful and generous! They came and cleaned my house, brought us hot meals, watched the kids while I visited my husband at the hospital after our car accident... Such good neighbors they were. It really felt like genuine friendship and love. I now suspect that this type of giving behavior, is reserved for unbaptized ones. We were a gold mine for service hours, with our long Bible studies that were actually long social calls with 30 minutes of studying.

Like a recent visitor to this site, impala63rag, I experienced what I would call some "true" friendship and care from the JWs I knew. To this day, I have a love and compassion for them, that I have not had with any others I know today. It is sad to admit that, since none of those people talk to me anymore, and they stopped "calling on us" almost 2 years ago now. I guess not even some bonus service time is worth risking your spiritual health by talking to someone who asks difficult questions.

18

I want to send a nice note to my sister

by Faithful Witness in

jw
friends

it's been about 5 weeks, since my sister sent me the email telling me she no longer wants to communicate with me (at this time).. i was never a jw, so i am not going to agree to those crazy terms.

i explained to her that she can do what she wants, but i will continue to be kind, and that i forgive her cruel treatment toward me.. i have given her some space, and i feel like i am ready to send her another note.

instead of bringing up any hard feelings of today, i was going to share some memories that i have of our early, pre-jw days.

Faithful Witness

Hi Robert, I'm going to post a new thread to answer that. My mom is coming to visit us this Friday!

She lives 65 miles away, but we have not had an unsupervised (without my dad along) visit with her since last fall.

Our plan is to schedule Grandma time, the 2nd Friday of every month. I'm hoping she will stay long enough, to see my husband get home from work. We all miss her so much. I still think of her as my best friend, and pretty much the one person I can talk to about everything.

28

Argument with my Child "Why did I stay in the Organization so long?" Anger and Bitter Feelings.

by RottenRiley in

jw
friends

last night my third oldest child wanted to know why we stayed in the organization so long.

child is a third year college student enjoying all the classes this "wicked system" has to offer, the insatiable appetite for learning makes him want to argue and debate, i don't have the energy to debate because i don't feel good with all life has thrown our way.. .

"the only reason i went to meetings so long was because grandma and grandpa needed somebody to take them to meetings and cobe aunt and uncle and secretary aunt and uncle refused to talk to grandma for years, otherwise i would have stopped attending the kingdom hall because the kids were assholes and i was always the one who had to make "first contact", "i was the one who had to go around and meet and greet newbies while the regular jw wall-flowers (calebs) ignored all the visitors and new persons visiting our kingdom hall.

Faithful Witness

Everyone has different challenges in their lives, starting with childhood. No parents are perfect.

My parents chose to become JW's after they became grandparents. I'm not sure what their issue is, but I forgive them.

They made plenty of other mistakes while we were growing up. I forgive those also. When your kids have their own, and start making their own mistakes, maybe they will have more compassion for you.

Another good book: "Mistakes Were Made, but Not by Me."

Forgive yourself and forgive them. These sound like growing pains. You can move past them, but healing takes time. All the best to you!

27

One mom, half a dad, and at least three friends lost... But at least 4 lives "saved" from WT mind control... 400 to go

by ILoveTTATT in

jw
friends

so... i have just posted a link to freedom of mind and the bite model on fb.... .

i am gonna take a snapshot of the # of friends on fb and the ones i have after i tell people privately that i don't want to be a jw anymore..

Faithful Witness

ILoveTTATT: I admire your efforts. I think anyone who has the courage to walk away from family and friends, is pretty amazing. Having just read this past Sunday's article, warning about those in the congregation who are trying to "draw the sheep away from the flock," it will be interesting to see if anyone responds to you.

Thanks for sharing your experience. You have friends here, and there is a big wide world out here. Your healing process is going to take you on a quite a journey. Best wishes to you. I'll be watching your updates with interest.

18

I want to send a nice note to my sister

by Faithful Witness in

jw
friends

it's been about 5 weeks, since my sister sent me the email telling me she no longer wants to communicate with me (at this time).. i was never a jw, so i am not going to agree to those crazy terms.

i explained to her that she can do what she wants, but i will continue to be kind, and that i forgive her cruel treatment toward me.. i have given her some space, and i feel like i am ready to send her another note.

instead of bringing up any hard feelings of today, i was going to share some memories that i have of our early, pre-jw days.

Faithful Witness

I cut the message in half. I left her as a preschooler (which is how she always appears when she shows up in my dreams). I took out the line about me. I sent it last night, 2 days after and 2 days before her indoctrination meeting.

I am fully aware of what they are saying about me in the Watchtower study articles. My sister right now might not even have a natural personality, or at least not when she sees or hears my name. I do not expect a reply. I don't take the shunning personally (well maybe a little, but am not getting my hopes up).

Thanks for the input. I wanted to run it through the JW mind filter, and make sure I wasn't using any words or symbols that might sound like I was working with Satan. I do not understand how to communicate with her new personality. Your perspective helped. Thanks.

13

other forums

by Hortensia in

jw
friends

i look at three forums pretty much every day, this one, a knitting/crochet forum and a weight-loss forum.

the weight-loss site has loads of useful apps, but the forum consists of posts by people who are mostly pretty young, self-absorbed and ill-informed except on a narrow range of information, mainly weight-lifting, working out, and starving themselves.. the folks on the knitting/crochet forum are extremely polite, politically correct, and obey rules very carefully.

other than that, there are some seriously creative people with amazing artistic talent that expresses itself in fiber arts.

Faithful Witness

I like your analysis. Thanks for the fluffy post.

I love knitting, crochet, and other needle arts. I have one of those expensive embroidery sewing machines, but never use it. Someday, I will make time for crafts again. My daughter, now 7, is also a crafter. She collects things out of the kitchen trash and makes creations out of them. Haha... that is becoming frustrating sometimes. She's taught herself to crochet, and can do plastic canvas also.

I am actually trying to cut back on online message boards, but I am susceptible to this type of social network. I don't work outside the home, and I love getting the perspective of others on issues that are important to me. I like this forum, because the likelyhood that anyone here knows who I am is pretty slim... If you are a JW who is reading this, and know me, please stop by! I won't tell.

In other words, I have no friends. Sometimes the whackadoodles hurt my feelings, but I find this message board to be extremely helpful. The advice and criticism I receive here have honed me a lot, as I make progress toward learning how to deal with JWs in my life. (Or maybe I am one of the whackadoodles... if so, I'm happy to add a little spice to conversation. Personally, I love drama.)

Happy knitting, Hortensia! What do you like to knit?

I really want to start knitting socks, and have it become such second nature, that I am always carrying my knitting with me. I've made a couple of sweaters, several hats and a few mittens. Just one pair of socks (they matched!!) I just don't seem to spend much time sitting around lately. I'm always doing other things. I long to knit and crochet. Until the day I have time to sit still and do it, I will continue adding to my yarn collection. I see Michael's has a big sale on Lion Brand yarn this week.

18

I want to send a nice note to my sister

by Faithful Witness in

jw
friends

it's been about 5 weeks, since my sister sent me the email telling me she no longer wants to communicate with me (at this time).. i was never a jw, so i am not going to agree to those crazy terms.

i explained to her that she can do what she wants, but i will continue to be kind, and that i forgive her cruel treatment toward me.. i have given her some space, and i feel like i am ready to send her another note.

instead of bringing up any hard feelings of today, i was going to share some memories that i have of our early, pre-jw days.

Faithful Witness

It's been about 5 weeks, since my sister sent me the email telling me she no longer wants to communicate with me (at this time).

I was never a JW, so I am not going to agree to those crazy terms. I explained to her that she can do what she wants, but I will continue to be kind, and that I forgive her cruel treatment toward me.

I have given her some space, and I feel like I am ready to send her another note. Instead of bringing up any hard feelings of today, I was going to share some memories that I have of our early, Pre-JW days. I am the oldest, and she is the youngest in our family, 12 years younger than me.

Before I send it, I wanted to run it by you all and see if anything is going to pop out as controversial. These are all inside jokes, and probably won't be funny at all... but tell me if this is too much, or if something I am saying is going to sound an alarm and make her raise her cult spikes.

I don't expect a reply from her, nor do I think anything I say to her right now has a snowball's chance in Africa to reach her... but I still want her to know that my feelings for her have not changed. What do you think?

Hi R,

I just wanted you to know that I've been thinking about you.

It's been about a month since you sent your last email, so I thought I'd just check in and say hello to you and the family.

Lately, I've been remembering some old times, and have some really cute memories of hanging out with you. A few of them are from when you were just in preschool. You have always been such a sweet-hearted person.

I remember when you used to come up to me, turn around, and in your cute little voice would say, "Will you cratch my back?"

You have always been so cute, Rl!! I could never help but adore you. "One time, I said..."

Remember when you gave me that French manicure when I had a broken arm? I remember sitting around at Mom's house, waiting for you to get home from school. Haha. Those were the days!

$*o|\~ sing$ "Loving you is easier than falling off a log... A cat is still a cat, and a dog is still a dog... dog..." $*o|\~ sing$

Anyway, I just want you to know I will never stop loving you, and I will never stop being your big sister. Maybe some day you will be able to see things from my perspective. I love you forever, my little applesauce spiller!

10

JW's at my inlaw's door yesterday

by Hillary in

here in the northeast it is freezing.

a father and son team brought over the outside garbage cans from the end of the driveway and offered to salt my inlaws' driveway.

my f-i-l was very impressed and said they're very nice people.

Faithful Witness

What a nice thing to do! ... and a good way to get some time in, where they actually are doing something that has some value. Good ahead and let them waste time shoveling sidewalks.

They were clearing a path, so they can come back for a return visit.

I agree with the question raised by Blondie. My mom was in the hospital for 5 days in January. I was expecting gushing stories of all the JW's who went to visit her, cleaned her house or came over with hot meals for her and my dad. I didn't hear any such thing, but I do plan to ask her how much attention she got from them when she was sick.

She has mentioned that she has been "slacking" lately, and really "needs" to get out in service more! This statement breaks my heart, since she's using it as an excuse to spend less time with her grandkids who see her so rarely... but I'm also glad to hear that she is slacking!!

I am trying to take on a "glass half full" attitude in this JW situation with my family. I refuse to give up hope.

About the random JW, who comes and does you a favor, beware the wolf in sheep's clothing! But then again, maybe they are awake JWs, putting in time, making it take much longer than necessary to distribute the poison that comes down for public distribution.